Disclamier: The following letter is something I wrote out of anger. Thus I do not mean any of it. I have posted it here because I have no balls to send it to the recipient. All names have been changed to protect myself in case the recipient were to ever stumble across my blog.
Dear Bitch,
You weigh a ton. I’ve calculated your BMI and guess what? A few more kilos and you’ll be fucking obese! You blame your roundness on your height. But isn’t your mom shorter than you, weigh a lot less and wear clothes six sizes smaller? You might try to say you’re big boned now, but didn’t we compare wrist sizes? Wasn’t mine a lot bigger? And yet my jean size is smaller. Let’s face reality, you’re overweight and I’m pretty sure you’re lying about you weight. If that’s the case, I’m sorry. You’re not overweight you’re obese honey. And that’s an illness from consuming too many calories and not doing anything active. Did you know? Or did you think it was normal to wear a male XL T-shirt and feel it’s rather tight.
You claim you’re a good friend. Sorry, but I’m gonna burst your bubble. You’re not. Ha-ha! You sold out your friends for boys. You sold me out for a relationship with Jell-O that didn’t last a week. Only God knows how many times you’ve sold out your best friend Caramel. You’ll probably betray your own mother for a quick fuck. You may had more boyfriends than me… but you’re a slut darling. It doesn’t count. You throw yourselves at men and they accept thinking you’re an easy fuck.
Oh dear, don’t let me even get started on your current boyfriend. I’m not even gonna comment on his lacking height. But how you caught him is a story I’m willing to tell. Let’s see, you used money to bribe a friend for his number. Then you confessed and later you had to convince him to accept. How embarrassing is that!? Yet you parade him around like a trophy with a totally different story. Where you two switch roles. You even bought a couple ring for him! Isn’t the guy supposed to buy the rings!? Have you no self respect?? You’re not Britney Spears honey.
You cry at every little thing. Going into oh poor me mode whenever something happens. You complain about friends, your mom and most of all your poverty. Oh puh-lease! If you were poor you wouldn’t be overweight, you wouldn’t have an internet connection and two computers, you wouldn’t have your own TV, stereo and DVD player in your room, and you wouldn’t have been able to buy those rings. You say you hate your mom saying she doesn’t love you. But everyone can see that she adores and spoils you. And yet you treat her like crap. You lie to her even though she’s open minded enough to let you get drunk. She pulls strings to get you special treatment and you never say a word of thanks. My mom is moody and does not dote on me. Yet I treat her a lot better than how you treat your mother. “True Friends”? If I remember correctly which I do, you said that you have never had any true friends. Well guess what? Boo-Hoo poor you. Have you ever considered that it’s you and not us? You don’t value friendship. You’re the one who got most excited about the “F.R.I.E.N.D.S” thing. And when things didn’t work between the six of us you said “Every time they say friends forever, friends forever… what the fuck are they? Fucking friends… what are friends? I don’t have any true friend… not even one. Fuck friends forever… fuck all of this… ma ji bai.” You’ve said you care about us. In what fucking way huh? Donut gets food poisoning and you blame him for it!? Caramel doesn’t love her boyfriend anymore; you say you won’t let her break up! Mushmellow has a crush and you tell the whole class about it. I tell you my deepest darkest secret and you tell people about it. Is that caring?!? Yea, in your wet dreams. You expect me to comfort you about a bruise you developed? When all you did was laugh at my 2nd degree burn.
You’re a sad, sad person. But you don’t deserve any pity. Why? Because, you’re a slut, bitch and a bad friend. You act like a guy. But, around cute guys your pussy drips and you start to moan for their imaginary feelings towards you. You blame your best friend for being a slut and stealing all the guys. But have you ever wondered that it’s because they don’t want your ugly ass? You slap guy’s asses and act all girly around them. When they respond to your ass slapping, you act like a cute Japanese girl towards them. You get jealous every time a guy is interested in one of your few friends and you monopolize the situation making your friend seem like a slut. You then dig your claws into the guy but sadly, 99.99% of the time they don’t give two flying fucks about you. What’s that? You deny this? Ok, Tuna for example. You didn’t give a fuck about him until he asked for mine and Éclair's Name and Numbers. After knowing that you hang around him all the time hoping he’ll ask for your number too. Still not enough? Before Éclair's said Jerky was cute you told me he was ugly. After that you salivate every time he’s around. I won’t be surprised if you cream your size XL grandma panties if he ever looks directly at you.
In summary, you’re an ungrateful slut who cheats on her boyfriend, a bad friend who gossips about everyone she knows, an angry person (seriously, you need anger management.) and finally a crybaby and a whiner.
Go to hell Bitch,
Love your “True Friend"
